You might be a musician if...


Your phone is unplugged for 2 hours or more a day so you can practice.

You are more worried about breaking a finger than breaking a leg.

Bach is not just a funny sound you can make in your throat.

When practicing chromatic scales becomes more fun then bowling.

You spend more money on books, instrument supplies, private lessons, and classes then rent, food, and bills combined and, you have more then one job to pay for everything..

You dream about little sharps attacking flats and whole notes falling in love with quarter notes.

Playing the Flight of the Bumblebee is as easy as reciting the alphabet.

You know that normally The Flight of the Bumblebee is not that easy of a piece.

The thought of taking a break, if only for a week, sounds crazy and suicidal.

You listen to PDQ Bach and get all of the jokes.

That irritating song that's been running through your head for two weeks is by Mozart.

That irritating song that's been running through your head for two weeks is from "Wozzeck" by Webern.

Your notice you are drumming your fingers on the table to the rhythm of the classical music being played at the restaurant.

You walk down the hall singing the bass line to Beethoven's 7th and you wonder why people look at funny.

You might be a musician if you consider Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring" marchable.

You prefer playing your instrument rather than having sex.

You know and can recite all the musician jokes and derivitives in score order!

Getting the sniffles is a true catastrophy.

You walk around conducting the Verdi Requiem, Dvorak Requiem, Bruckner e-minor Mass, Beethoven 7, etc., and wonder why people are looking at you funny.

You can roughly translate any Latin text, but you've never taken a Latin class.

Your co-workers can tell what you are listening to on your headphones by the way you are typing.

You're willing to shell out $16 for a score to 4'33".

You know what 4'33" is.

You know Tchaikovsky' s full name AND all its spellings.

You have played more instruments than the average person can name.

You own more in sheet music than in CDs

You can define the difference between a sonata and a concerto.

You know 101 jokes involving either violas, French horns, or percussionists.

You know any jokes about players of any other specific instruments.

You took more semesters of foreign languages that you hardly ever use than English.

You have expelled more hot air than your average politician.

You actually cheered on the marching band in high school.

You have ever played anything by Bela Bartok.

You had carpal tunnel before computers became popular, or have injured yourself more times sitting down than standing up.